Listen, I don't need you to judge me for the merch I make.  The universe demanded I make this, just as it demands you to buy this.  Come on, you know it'll be a great way to get that special someone to notice you.  
.: Material: 100% polyester
.: Extra light fabric (3.2 oz/yd² (110 g/m²))
.: Elastic waistband, fastened with a black drawstring rope
.: Two side pockets
.: Regular fit
.: Sewn-in label
.: White seam thread
.: Regular cut